I hope you had the chance to wind down with your family and friends and check in with yourself and each other.
Talking of checking in, our latest blog post is about ‘ People Pleasing’.Did you know people pleasing can be a trauma response, a coping mechanism for low self-esteem, a sign of excessive emotional dependency or deeply engrained socialisation practice?
Interestingly but not surprisingly, most people pleasers are great partners and workers.
But they’re also some of the most troubled people. While meeting everyone else’s needs, they often forget that they have needs of their own too. For them, it becomes a cycle of unsatisfactory relationships and burnout-like situations at work.
It’s important to learn and set boundaries. If you keep giving without refilling, you’ll be empty before you know it.
More about people pleasing and boundaries here.
An Excerpt from Anxious People
An Excerpt from a book I recently finished reading and loved ‘Anxious People’ by Fredrik Backman [Spoiler Alert (maybe :p)]
“…the psychologist ventures to speak again. ‘Do you remember asking me, one of the first times we met, if I could explain what panic attacks were? I don’t think I ever gave you a good answer.’
‘Have you got a better one now?’ Zara asks.
The psychologist shakes her head.
Zara can’t help smiling.
Then Nadia (the psychologist) says, as herself, in her own words rather than those of her psychology training or anyone else:
‘But you know what, Zara? I’ve learned that it helps to talk about it.
Unfortunately I think most people would still get more sympathy from their colleagues and bosses at work if they show up looking rough one morning and say “I’m hungover” than if they say “I’m suffering from anxiety”.
But I think we pass people in the street every day who feel the same as you and I, many of them just don’t know what it is…All because it’s so damn difficult to admit that something else is broken.
That it’s an ache in our soul, invisible lead weights in our blood, an indescribable pressure in our chest. …”
See you soon,
Love, JKD
