I know I’m late to the party talking about love after Valentine’s, but hear me out.
I have taken a few days to finally write about this because love IS indeed one of the biggest cliche topics. But before you jump to a judgment, stay with me.
We spoke to a few people about their definitions of love, and they consistently spoke about:
- wanting to put their loved one’s needs before their own,
- respecting each other, including boundaries,
- wanting to fix the world for them,
- wanting to fight the world with them (But why, though, why fight the world? You do you-minus the fight!).
Someone also described love as appreciation at an existential level. Another one said Love Is Like Oxygen. If you get too much, you get high and if you don’t…well.
Well, if love is so beautiful, why do some people avoid relationships altogether? Why doesn’t it feel the same way even if they find someone who will give them their all?
Now, I know this isn’t the case with everyone. Life is messy. We all experience everything differently. But what remains the same is – that we all want the love that gets us high on some level. We all want to be seen, fulfilled, and supported.
And to get that kind of love, you need to be open to accepting it. Not just want it but truly allow it.
Think about it. How will you truly feel that someone is there for you unless you learn to be secure enough to be vulnerable with them? Let them comfort you, be sad with you in your sadness and happy with you in your joy.
If you don’t believe you’re worthy of love, it’s hard to let it in.
For those needing proof, the research says:
“The initial level of self-esteem of each partner predicted the initial level of the partners’ common relationship satisfaction, and the change in self-esteem of each partner predicted the change in the partners’ common relationship satisfaction… these effects did not differ by gender and held when controlling for participants’ age, length of relationship, health, and employment status.”
Who would have thought we don’t need to look too far for it – this kind of love that I’m talking about? Perhaps the first step is simply to indulge in a cliché self-love. You deserve to be loved.
Love,
JKD
