“Work-life balance is for the lazy and the losers”.
I am a corporate lawyer and worked in a field almost alien to the work-life balance concept. This is the story of how I discovered the importance of work-life balance, how I achieved it, how it changed my life, and how you can achieve work-life balance to change yours if you like.
I knew nothing about being overworked, professional burnout, work-related stress, and how it can impact my physical and mental health.
I love to keep myself occupied with work. Work-life balance was a concept that I didn’t resonate with at all! To my mind, it was what the lazier ones raved about.
I did that through school and more through college. I was that person in college who managed my grades pretty well, delivered all my assignments on time (I swear, you can check with my teachers!), participated in all the curricular activities like mock courts, dance competitions, and theatrics, along with several internships while managing my part-time remote writing gig! Who doesn’t need extra bucks in college?
And no, I didn’t miss many outings or trips with my friends and took every opportunity to do so The FOMO was real even then, you know.
With all of that, I landed just the job that I wanted!
The lost work-life balance: From dream-life to dread-life
In the final year of college, I landed my dream job! Being the overly enthusiastic and excited person I am, I barely took 2 to 3 days off after my final semester exams before I moved cities to join as an Associate in the General Corporate team. The work was good but the money was better! Life was as good as it gets.
What else could I have asked for? It was every law student’s dream.
As I continued to live my dream life, I completely lost myself in the cycle of moving from one deal closing to another. I witnessed my dream life turn into a complete nightmare as I failed to pause amidst the chaos.
Don’t get me wrong, I still delivered the work product on time and in pretty good quality, so I’m told. I’ve always been sincere with my work so it’s not something I could ever compromise on even then. I met some exceptional seniors including my mentors at this workplace who taught me the work ethic I will carry with me for the rest of my life and be forever grateful for.
But I was constantly so tired that I dreaded waking up and going to work.
If it wasn’t my workplace, then what was the problem?
Why work-life balance was impossible to achieve?
Achieving a work-life balance to improve my life felt impossible because of one big problem – me! 🙂
I had no idea when to stop and say no and how to say it. I had the problem of what we call – fluid and porous boundaries. While trying to get more and more done and prove that I could do it all, that’s all I did – work.
I barely slept, ate erratically, and had forgotten the feeling of finishing a great book or watching an exciting movie. Almost like a robot, I woke up in the morning, skipped breakfast, got ready and went to work where I also ate my lunch and dinner that I ordered every day, finally came home, talked to my folks and went to sleep.
When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, it was a wake-up call. I was back home with my family but stayed in my room working through the day and the night! If my mom hadn’t brought me my dinner to my room or my dad hadn’t refilled my water bottles, I swear to God I’d have starved.
I used to despise working and getting staffed on new matters. It made me anxious and took a toll on my mental health.
But, I also missed being the person who loved to work and could completely pour herself into it! I missed being on top of everything on my desk and loving every second!
I missed being the person who was happy to take on extra work and enjoyed it.
How did I learn that work-life balance was crucial?
One day, after a long call with a close friend, something clicked! I spoke to a few seniors and got in touch with a professional counsellor who could help.
I spoke to my parents and friends, leveraging the length and breadth of my support system, and got to work because I was done. I was done being the person who wasn’t ‘me’ anymore.
I was done being sorry for myself. I was done being a victim.
So, I got to work.
I consciously worked hard to learn more about myself, why it was so hard to say no and how to start doing it for about four to six months.
I learned what saying no means
I learned that sometimes, saying ‘no’ means your performance will be even better at work, and your team will appreciate the honesty you bring to the table by updating them when you have more bandwidth to work when you do. Most importantly, you’ll be happier doing all the more.
I also learned how saying no benefited my attitude towards work. Having just a few hours of the day for some self-care helped me reconnect and rediscover my old self that I missed so much.
I learned about healthy boundaries
- I learned to say no before it got too much to handle, preventing the worst from taking over.
- I learned to check with my seniors about the deadlines so I didn’t unnecessarily spend all my nights and weekends working on the documents and killing myself to deliver way before the deadline.
- I learned the importance of communicating my concerns and finding viable solutions. When I discussed my concerns about my sleeping schedule, and to my surprise, the team listened! Something so small made a huge difference!
- I learned to talk to my team members and partners more freely about my bandwidth and explain what I could deliver in time and what I could not.
- I learned that it’s okay to take a few days off to give yourself a break and return refreshed to work.
- I learned to communicate better with my juniors to ensure I wasn’t encroaching on their boundaries by being clear about the work expectations and honest about the timelines.
I learned to stop feeling guilty
Initially, when I needed space at work, I could barely get myself to ask for it and felt guilty for wanting to ask. I’m sure if you’ve been a pathological people-pleaser like me, you feel that way sometimes too.
That often happens when we find it hard to see value in our work. You’re important, you know!
If you’re unable to perform up to your full potential, then it is nobody’s guess that your job will suffer too!
How are you supposed to research well if your brain is not functioning? How are you supposed to write good drafts if you’re unable to think clearly? How will you give a good and ‘error-free’ document if you can barely focus on what you’re writing?
I’ve been working for over six years. I’ve seen people who would come to the office by 10.00 a.m., stay the whole night in the office and go home the next day, only to come back in a few hours. How long do you think they could keep it up? Their work suffered and so did they!
So my mantra now is simple – I know I want to work well. I don’t like to settle for a sub-standard work product. And for that, I NEED to be well-rested at all times.
Not saying that occasional weekday hangouts or late nights don’t occur. They do! But I now know when I need to ask for help and I don’t feel guilty because I know that’s the only way to deliver a good work product.
I learned to prioritise myself and saw how it changed everything at work
This one was pretty simple.
Happy me = Focused me = Good work = Happy boss = Happy client = Profitable employer.
Irritated/Tired me = Work full of errors = Angry and overworked boss = Employer running into losses.
There are so many studies conducted to prove this. Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin linking them. But if you still don’t believe me, please check them out here, here, and here!
Need I say more?
How life changed once I achieved work-life balance
I started to love working (again!)
About six to eight months into making a conscious effort to balance work with life, I started enjoying my work again. Now, I jump to take up new assignments and love the challenge of finishing up a complicated task in less time.
I finally feel like myself again!
I like waking up in the mornings to work. I am excited to attend meetings and volunteer to contribute to the hectic days of the team. I enjoy using my brain to research difficult legal propositions to find suitable conclusions.
As cliched and nerdy as it sounds, I now once again lose myself in my work and serenade myself in it.
I am happier at work
Because I was constantly exhausted, I was mostly irritated and in a bad mood at work. I used to be angry at myself for not catching a breath and resented everyone else who could. I used to be angry at myself and everyone around me.
Now, I am happier in the office. I have a more growth-oriented mindset and handle challenges and setbacks more positively.
My mindset changed to a growth-oriented mindset
This is not only a product of me working on my boundaries in the office but also consciously working on changing my approach to life in general.
The change in mindset is so profound that it has helped every aspect of my life. So much so that I will validate all the psychological studies and the self-help books rave that positive thinking can change your life.
No, I don’t mean it’s a magic pill. It takes effort to notice when negative thoughts pull you down and go out for dinner or watch your comfort show with your comfort people even though you don’t feel like it. At all!
But these small things have made all the difference!
My attention span is so much better
I’m not kidding but I can sit and work for longer hours because I’m well rested and therefore, get tired easily while working.
I do more during the day
Because I like going to the office and working, I consciously cut out the distractions and focus on my work.
My ability to manage my work is better and I now work systematically from one task to another.
As a result, I now work faster and better. My productivity has almost doubled! Since then, I cleared a competitive exam and got the job I worked hard for. Recently, I also cleared my Company Secretary exams.
I deliver better-quality work
Earlier, I would have to proofread my documents at least three to four times to ensure there were no errors. Once I got back into the grove
Interestingly, because I was refreshed getting back to work, I noticed that my proofing exercise was much quicker as I made fewer typos and silly errors. I am now hyper-focussed!
Professional accomplishments after achieving work-life balance
I had created quite an exceptional situation for myself by telling myself that this is just how the industry is. This is what everyone has to do to do well here. It’s a sacrifice you make for a few years to get better only to realise that I was being a fool. The responsibility will only increase with time!
I refused to believe that there was a remote chance that I could achieve a work-life balance in my job. I didn’t think I was that person.
A couple of months later, while staying at the job where I was doing pretty well and had my billables in order, I was also able to prepare for a competitive exam!
Guarantee that working from home during preparation time helped save the time I spent commuting to and from work. In addition to these two hours, I saved time by getting into a routine, ensuring that I finished my work on time and without any distractions. More than anyone else, I was surprised when all my billables looked good, and I also managed to crack the exam!
Then I also studied for my CS along with my full-time job. I sat for some of the exams while working at a law firm, an industry that I believed had no scope of granting me any work-life balance and remaining work at my current job which requires a minimum of 8 to 9 hours every day excluding the commute from office to home.
Now I am working on my passion project – Keep up with Kaur!
All that you need to go to achieve work-life balance – takeaways
Set healthy boundaries
Leave your work so you can come back refreshed and ready for it. Be specific with your boundaries and stick to them. If you can’t stand by them, then no one else will.
Please don’t confuse this with shirking work. Work is equally a part of your work-life balance! If you’re free, please ask how you can pitch in. It will also give you a lot of credibility when you are struggling to make time for more work.
Learn to say no without guilt
You can’t do it all by yourself! It’s okay to ask for help and that’s exactly what you should do if you’re genuinely overworked.
Talk to your team
Stay in touch with your seniors and juniors. If you need more resources, please reach out and arrange for them. This has a direct correlation with better satisfaction at work and hence, increased productivity.
Each team member is probably going through what you’re feeling. If you talk and communicate your needs, they will make space for your comfort and cover for you, just as you do for them when they need it.
Plan your time and work
I cannot stress enough how important planning is to your work and your life.
Wherever it is possible, delegate tasks and supervise their performance.
If you know something important is coming up in the next couple of weeks, It would be prudent to inform your seniors, team and clients well in advance instead of dumping it on them at the last minute.
This way, you can take enough time to finish the current ongoing assignments and also give them adequate time to make alternative arrangements for the time you’ll be unavailable.
Take breaks and increase productivity
While it is easy to underestimate the importance of taking breaks, there is scientific evidence to prove that it vastly increases productivity.
The brain uses the time to think and rethink subconsciously, and you solve problems faster when you return to them after your break.
No wonder people have developed so many productivity techniques based on taking scheduled breaks while working like the Pomodoro technique or the Italians just happened to live longer because they take pleasure and pride in doing nothing sometimes.
Use tools like Sleep Mode or your phone and blue light filters to help with sleep quality, and team calendars to schedule block hours exclusively for work separately from the meetings. Block social media notifications during your core work time and lose yourself in it.
Make alternative arrangements and handover
If possible, please make alternative arrangements for your clients or hand over the work to team members.
To ensure a smooth handover, I usually prepare a list of all the pending matters, and their current status along with the details of the work to be done, and share it with my team. I also put the link to the path on which all of the documents of that matter are available, in this list.
Not only does it make the job of the person who has taken over 100 times easier but it also helps me because they don’t have to keep calling me for every small thing they have everything that they need right at their disposal.
Stay in touch with yourself
What is your favourite movie genre? Do you like playing video games? Which is your favourite author? Do you have a hobby like dancing or knitting? Anything that helps you relax and switch off for a while – incorporate it into your daily life and consciously make time for it.
Know when to upgrade
We spend more time in our offices than at our homes. This is why, going to your office every single day for the majority of your life shouldn’t be repulsive or unsettling.
If you’ve already done all of the above but nothing seems to be working, please don’t hesitate to look for a workplace that would be right for you.
Now that you know what you need to perform well at work, it will help you to find something that would work for you in the long run.
Final thoughts
If I can do it, ANYONE can. You can!
Especially now that you know how I did it and how it has helped me in my work and personal life. Take it one day at a time.
Life is always a work in progress.
Start small. Do only one of the things I suggested today, and you can come back next week to see the second thing you can pick up from there.
Let us know your thoughts in the comment section below. Also, if you enjoyed reading this, please don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter for a bi-monthly reminder to stay grounded in life and more personal growth stories! 😀
